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Bible

My Journey As A Christian, Addict, And Growing Closer To God Than Ever.

What's It Like As A Christian In Recovery From Porn Addiction?

First and foremost, I am by far no religious expert! I'm not a minister or reverend or priest. No formal theological or seminary training or education.

 

With a mother as a reverend and grandfather that's a Bishop, I am every bit of a 3rd generation believer in God as surely as I'm a 3rd generation addict. 

I remember 2 specific things about my faith going into my recovery:

  1. I've always struggled with the formalities of my faith as well as wondering "if I was doing enough" to be blessed; and

  2. I thought God was done with me. I had used up every opportunity, blessing, and bit of grace with my addiction.

And why was I wrong? After all, I lost my family, home and career. Obviously I must've either not done enough or had used up everything.

The truth is that neither of the above was true for me nor is true for you!

Every journey is unique, but I hope my journey with my faith and recovery will give you the encouragement you need on your journey!

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Do I Need To Believe In A "Higher Power" For My Recovery?

With every form of recovery outside of therapy, you're bound to hear "higher power". But is it necessary? Do you really need to believe in a higher power in recovery?

 

Here's my short answer to this question: You already do.

I respect everyone's belief, even if it differs from mine. But heres my question for you: 

"If you don't believe in a higher power, how do you explain your addiction?"

For all of us, our addiction has been our higher power! The thing we chose above all else. What we always made time and resources for, even when we didn't have it!

So back to the question... "Do you need to believe in a higher power?" No.

But since you already do, why not choose one that's on your side?

Jan. 02.2023

Ruth Chap. 1

 

The Crossroads Of Ruth & Orpah

Quite often in recovery, we find ourselves at what I call "The Crossroads Of Ruth & Orpah", or the place where we decide to be comfortable or face the unknown.

Many times in my journey beyond habitland, I've wanted to be "comfortable". If we're honest about it, what's comfortable is not always what's "good" or "best". It's just familiar. Porn use is familiar. Drinking is familiar. Sex is familiar. Pain is familiar. Yet despite the harm of the "comfortable", I often chose that over the unknown. 

Again, if we're honest the unknown is really about our fears and doubts. Most of us can't begin to imagine what life is like with our addictions and our pain. We want it, but have no idea what it looks like, what's required of us, or how long it will take!

If you find yourself at "The Crossroads of Ruth & Orpah", do the following:

  1. Write out "the comfortable" or not changing.

  2. Write out the fears and doubts you have for the unknown.

  3. Set up your Discovery Call with me and let's talk about how this can effect your journey Beyond HabitLand!

Jan. 04.2023

Mark 16:1-7

 

"The Gifts Of Being Broken" 

If you're anything like me, you've hit a rock bottom a time or 10 before. Rock bottom is... well it sucks! It's lonely. It's scary. And you're at your most undesirable

It's a lot different at rock bottom than in your glory days. You looked good. Felt loved. Had less fear.

So what's the blessing in being so broken you're reduced to something so undesirable?

 

Mark Chap 16 (I'll try to make this brief) shows us 3 blessings of being broken. It picks up after the crucifixion of Jesus. He's dead. Buried in the tomb. And rotting. 

Blessing No. 1: Rock Bottom is the best sorter of relationships!

 

Here's what you don't see... THE DISCIPLES! I mean if anyone should be in this part of the story it should be them! They saw everything that Jesus did. Every miracle. Of course they would be there at his lowest.

But they weren't. in fact all that are there are Mary Magdalene, Mary mother of James and Salome. 

That's it! Not the one's he did miracles for. Not the ones who saw him in his glory moments. 

Blessing No. 2: Rock Bottom shows you who is willing to do the impossible on behalf of you!

The interesting part of the two Marys and Salome is that they had no way to move the stone covering the tomb! Yet, they were still headed to the tomb to anoint a dead body.

Blessing No. 3: You'll find your real cheerleaders at Rock Bottom.

At the end of the passage, the angel tells the 3 to go and tell the disciples about Jesus rising from the dead! The angel didn't find the disciples, or the ones Jesus did miracles for, the angel chose the ones who sought Jesus at his Rock Bottom.

 

Rock Bottom sucks. And it can be a burden. But if you see it mindfully and not emotionally, you'll find tons of blessings! 

 

Drop me a line and let me know what you blessings you've found at your Rock Bottom! 

Jan. 29.23

 

Ruth Chapter 3

 

Following The Process

Let's talk about it…

 

How do you feel about “processes”? Personally it’s something I’ve hated that I had to learn to love. To be fair, most of my life I always tried to find loopholes in the process. I wanted the shortcut at times more than the goal. That’s addiction for ya. I watched porn and random affairs to shortcut building  a healthy relationship. I drank as a shortcut to feel “happy” and drugs to shortcut the process of dealing with pain, frustration and doubt.

 

Ruth Chapter 3 shows us how a process not only gets you your goal, but also the kingdom!

 

Ruth followed a process. And she also lost some things in the process. She lost her husband, her family and her God. The irony is that most of us take shortcuts of addiction trying to keep something! I haven’t met the man yet who watched porn or had countless affairs trying to “lose” their families or career. 

 

Ruth eventually listens to her mother-in-law, the lady who gave her the process. She followed EVERY instruction given and asked questions when needed. The outcome for her was not just a husband, but also a kingdom and in the lineage of Jesus!

 

Here’s your final note about the process: A GREAT process will not only get you your goals, but you’ll also get results you didn’t even think of!

 

This is what recovery is really about! It’s so much more than just stopping something, it’s the opportunity to live something greater than you can envision. It’s getting you #BeyondHabitLand!

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